A few weeks ago, I joined a group on Twitter, #PTSDchat , held on Wednesday nights at 8 (Central). I didn’t know where I fit in. It was almost that I was not “brave enough” to have PTSD, which is an inversion of the feelings many on the outside have toward those who have PTSD.

PTSD is seen, from the outside, as an excuse for the weak person’s inability to hold up under pressure, instead of as a legitimate diagnosis. On the contrary, PTSD happens to some we have chosen because of their strength and fitness, mental and physical, to work the most difficult jobs available. Cumulative on-the-job events contribute to the condition.

Cumulative traumatic life experiences contribute to others having PTSD. There is incredible pain and suffering for many just to exist. These scars don’t just walk away on their own. They embed and imprint and torment.

As to my part in all of this, had I suffered enough? Did my experiences even have enough power to have great bearing on my life and its outcome? Do I react in ways now that I didn’t before these events? OK, yes, I react differently.

I am finding that whether the PTSD is official or unofficial, full-blown, or on the fringes, I easily relate to what is being discussed. I have my own input. The sorting out of topics covered helps me more than I even imagined. I hope that some of what I now contribute furthers the conversation in a little way, as well.

A number of weeks ago, I was a lurker. In my situation, that lasted for one chat. I had things to say, so I jumped into the conversation, and never looked back.

The more the discussions go forward, though, the more I realize that some people may not be free to join in. They, due to stigma, job concerns or family-related issues, still have to suffer in silence, self-imposed or otherwise. Some of that is perceived, some of that is very real.

How about just quietly thinking about the pain and the healing? Don’t forget the healing/coping part! How about we don’t classify me, you, or anyone else right here in this unofficial discussion?

Positive actions can still take place without titles. Healing can begin behind the scenes with research and understanding. If you are reading this, you already have a start.

The point of my writing is to address the lurkers – those caught in between wondering and knowing, or knowing and feeling unable to address PTSD publicly. There are way too many in these categories for their own safety. The lack of, or perceived lack of, acceptance is one of the causes of added suffering, and ultimately in many situations, suicide. So take some positive action to heal yourself. Your life, and consequently everything that depends on it, which is everything, is at stake!

So, go ahead, at least be a lurker, in this group or somewhere else, wherever suits you best, or have private conversations with someone who understands or will listen. Know that you are not alone in your experiences or your thinking. Get some relief hearing others speak your words.

Sure, one day we’d like to hear from you, but if that is not possible, at least if you sit there in silence, don’t always sit there by yourself. The invitation is out there. I know I won’t meet or hear from many, but I know you are there, and want you to know you are cared about and welcome to join in in your own way!

***

Search #PTSDchat on Twitter